A Wild Ride—Genesis 4-7

Genesis 4

 ¹ Adam slept with Eve his wife. She conceived and had Cain. She said, "I've gotten a man, with God's help!"  ² Then she had another baby, Abel. Abel was a herdsman and Cain a farmer. ^3-5 Time passed. Cain brought an offering to God from the produce of his farm. Abel also brought an offering, but from the firstborn animals of his herd, choice cuts of meat. God liked Abel and his offering, but Cain and his offering didn't get his approval. Cain lost his temper and went into a sulk.
 ^6-7 God spoke to Cain: "Why this tantrum? Why the sulking? If you do well, won't you be accepted? And if you don't do well, sin is lying in wait for you, ready to pounce; it's out to get you, you've got to master it."
 ⁸ Cain had words with his brother. They were out in the field; Cain came at Abel his brother and killed him.
 ⁹ God said to Cain, "Where is Abel your brother?"
   He said, "How should I know? Am I his babysitter?"
 ^10-12 God said, "What have you done! The voice of your brother's blood is calling to me from the ground. From now on you'll get nothing but curses from this ground; you'll be driven from this ground that has opened its arms to receive the blood of your murdered brother. You'll farm this ground, but it will no longer give you its best. You'll be a homeless wanderer on Earth."
 ^13-14 Cain said to God, "My punishment is too much. I can't take it! You've thrown me off the land and I can never again face you. I'm a homeless wanderer on Earth and whoever finds me will kill me."
 ¹⁵ God told him, "No. Anyone who kills Cain will pay for it seven times over." God put a mark on Cain to protect him so that no one who met him would kill him.
 ¹⁶ Cain left the presence of God and lived in No-Man's-Land, east of Eden.
 ^17-18 Cain slept with his wife. She conceived and had Enoch. He then built a city and named it after his son, Enoch.
   Enoch had Irad,
   Irad had Mehujael,
   Mehujael had Methushael,
   Methushael had Lamech.
 ^19-22 Lamech married two wives, Adah and Zillah. Adah gave birth to Jabal, the ancestor of all who live in tents and herd cattle. His brother's name was Jubal, the ancestor of all who play the lyre and flute. Zillah gave birth to Tubal-Cain, who worked at the forge making bronze and iron tools. Tubal-Cain's sister was Naamah.

    ^23-24 Lamech said to his wives,
   Adah and Zillah, listen to me;
      you wives of Lamech, hear me out:
   I killed a man for wounding me,
      a young man who attacked me.
   If Cain is avenged seven times,
      for Lamech it's seventy-seven!
 ^25-26 Adam slept with his wife again. She had a son whom she named Seth. She said, "God has given me another child in place of Abel whom Cain killed." And then Seth had a son whom he named Enosh.
   That's when men and women began praying and worshiping in the name of God.

Genesis 5

The Family Tree of the Human Race

 ^1-2 This is the family tree of the human race: When God created the human race, he made it godlike, with a nature akin to God. He created both male and female and blessed them, the whole human race.  ^3-5 When Adam was 130 years old, he had a son who was just like him, his very spirit and image, and named him Seth. After the birth of Seth, Adam lived another 800 years, having more sons and daughters. Adam lived a total of 930 years. And he died.
 ^6-8 When Seth was 105 years old, he had Enosh. After Seth had Enosh, he lived another 807 years, having more sons and daughters. Seth lived a total of 912 years. And he died.
 ^9-11 When Enosh was ninety years old, he had Kenan. After he had Kenan, he lived another 815 years, having more sons and daughters. Enosh lived a total of 905 years. And he died.
 ^12-14 When Kenan was seventy years old, he had Mahalalel. After he had Mahalalel, he lived another 840 years, having more sons and daughters. Kenan lived a total of 910 years. And he died.
 ^15-17 When Mahalalel was sixty-five years old, he had Jared. After he had Jared, he lived another 830 years, having more sons and daughters. Mahalalel lived a total of 895 years. And he died.
 ^18-20 When Jared was 162 years old, he had Enoch. After he had Enoch, he lived another 800 years, having more sons and daughters. Jared lived a total of 962 years. And he died.
 ^21-23 When Enoch was sixty-five years old, he had Methuselah. Enoch walked steadily with God. After he had Methuselah, he lived another 300 years, having more sons and daughters. Enoch lived a total of 365 years.
 ²⁴ Enoch walked steadily with God. And then one day he was simply gone: God took him.
 ^25-27 When Methuselah was 187 years old, he had Lamech. After he had Lamech, he lived another 782 years. Methuselah lived a total of 969 years. And he died.
 ^28-31 When Lamech was 182 years old, he had a son. He named him Noah, saying, "This one will give us a break from the hard work of farming the ground that God cursed." After Lamech had Noah, he lived another 595 years, having more sons and daughters. Lamech lived a total of 777 years. And he died.
 ³² When Noah was 500 years old, he had Shem, Ham, and Japheth.

Genesis 6

Giants in the Land

 ^1-2 When the human race began to increase, with more and more daughters being born, the sons of God noticed that the daughters of men were beautiful. They looked them over and picked out wives for themselves.  ³ Then God said, "I'm not going to breathe life into men and women endlessly. Eventually they're going to die; from now on they can expect a life span of 120 years."
 ⁴ This was back in the days (and also later) when there were giants in the land. The giants came from the union of the sons of God and the daughters of men. These were the mighty men of ancient lore, the famous ones.

Noah and His Sons

^5-7 God saw that human evil was out of control. People thought evil, imagined evil—evil, evil, evil from morning to night. God was sorry that he had made the human race in the first place; it broke his heart. God said, "I'll get rid of my ruined creation, make a clean sweep: people, animals, snakes and bugs, birds—the works. I'm sorry I made them."  ⁸ But Noah was different. God liked what he saw in Noah.
 ^9-10 This is the story of Noah: Noah was a good man, a man of integrity in his community. Noah walked with God. Noah had three sons: Shem, Ham, and Japheth.
 ^11-12 As far as God was concerned, the Earth had become a sewer; there was violence everywhere. God took one look and saw how bad it was, everyone corrupt and corrupting—life itself corrupt to the core.
 ¹³ God said to Noah, "It's all over. It's the end of the human race. The violence is everywhere; I'm making a clean sweep.
 ^14-16 "Build yourself a ship from teakwood. Make rooms in it. Coat it with pitch inside and out. Make it 450 feet long, seventy-five feet wide, and forty-five feet high. Build a roof for it and put in a window eighteen inches from the top; put in a door on the side of the ship; and make three decks, lower, middle, and upper.
 ¹⁷ "I'm going to bring a flood on the Earth that will destroy everything alive under Heaven. Total destruction.
 ^18-21 "But I'm going to establish a covenant with you: You'll board the ship, and your sons, your wife and your sons' wives will come on board with you. You are also to take two of each living creature, a male and a female, on board the ship, to preserve their lives with you: two of every species of bird, mammal, and reptile—two of everything so as to preserve their lives along with yours. Also get all the food you'll need and store it up for you and them."
 ²² Noah did everything God commanded him to do.

Genesis 7

 ¹ Next God said to Noah, "Now board the ship, you and all your family—out of everyone in this generation, you're the righteous one.  ^2-4 "Take on board with you seven pairs of every clean animal, a male and a female; one pair of every unclean animal, a male and a female; and seven pairs of every kind of bird, a male and a female, to insure their survival on Earth. In just seven days I will dump rain on Earth for forty days and forty nights. I'll make a clean sweep of everything that I've made." ⁵ Noah did everything God commanded him.
 ^6-10 Noah was 600 years old when the floodwaters covered the Earth. Noah and his wife and sons and their wives boarded the ship to escape the flood. Clean and unclean animals, birds, and all the crawling creatures came in pairs to Noah and to the ship, male and female, just as God had commanded Noah. In seven days the floodwaters came.
 ^11-12 It was the six-hundredth year of Noah's life, in the second month, on the seventeenth day of the month that it happened: all the underground springs erupted and all the windows of Heaven were thrown open. Rain poured for forty days and forty nights.
 ^13-16 That's the day Noah and his sons Shem, Ham, and Japheth, accompanied by his wife and his sons' wives, boarded the ship. And with them every kind of wild and domestic animal, right down to all the kinds of creatures that crawl and all kinds of birds and anything that flies. They came to Noah and to the ship in pairs—everything and anything that had the breath of life in it, male and female of every creature came just as God had commanded Noah. Then God shut the door behind him.
 ^17-23 The flood continued forty days and the waters rose and lifted the ship high over the Earth. The waters kept rising, the flood deepened on the Earth, the ship floated on the surface. The flood got worse until all the highest mountains were covered—the high-water mark reached twenty feet above the crest of the mountains. Everything died. Anything that moved—dead. Birds, farm animals, wild animals, the entire teeming exuberance of life—dead. And all people—dead. Every living, breathing creature that lived on dry land died; he wiped out the whole works—people and animals, crawling creatures and flying birds, every last one of them, gone. Only Noah and his company on the ship lived.
 ²⁴ The floodwaters took over for 150 days.

(from http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Genesis%204-7&version=MSG)

Cain was a piece of work, and I see several aspects of myself in him. Not an especially comforting thought. Truth is, we're all a mess; we're all capable of murder, given the wrong circumstances. But the even bigger truth is that we all bear God's image and reflect His character in some way or another. My heart has only recently begun to know that bigger truth, even though my head's been aware of it for decades. Oh, I've been able to recognize it in other people and even been cognizant of it on an intellectual level about myself. Like I said, though, my heart didn't "get it" until a few days ago. Why did it take me so long? I don't know for sure, but I do know that me not understanding it has kept me from even being able to acknowledge my sinful attitudes and actions, much less repent of them. As I told the woman who is my chief cheerleader and truth-teller, deep down I have believed the lie that maybe my sin was all there was to me so I tried to both cover it up and avoid looking at it. She pointed out that the irony of that strategy is that the more I try to cover it up, the more it manifests itself in my life. It'll be interesting to see where God takes me with this.

Somehow I think I'm in for a wild ride as I go in search of Him in my life. I suspect I'll be learning a lot about grace. God certainly extended it to Cain in protecting him (4:15) and to Noah in telling him how to build the ark that would separate him and his family from God's judgment on the rest of the world.

I'll keep you posted.

Here I Go Again—Genesis 1-3

Okay, I crashed, burned, and gave up on this endeavor in April last year. But that was last year. I've discovered some things about both God and myself that I'm counting on to keep me going this time. So here's to clean slates and new beginnings. I hear Jesus kinda likes those :)

Once again, I'm using Eugene Peterson's The Message version of the Bible. For all my purist friends, I know it's not a word-for-word translation, but my goal for this blog isn't so much exegetical analysis but more being attentive to what God is doing in my heart, and the relative unfamiliarity of Peterson's prose leads me to pay attention more easily to that than words so entrenched in my memory that I can almost rattle them off without thinking. Disruption can be a good—even if uncomfortable—thing, so I encourage you to be open to God using a little of that to deepen your intimacy with Him.

Genesis 1

Heaven and Earth

 ^1-2First this: God created the Heavens and Earth—all you see, all you don't see. Earth was a soup of nothingness, a bottomless emptiness, an inky blackness. God's Spirit brooded like a bird above the watery abyss.

 ^3-5 God spoke: "Light!"
      And light appeared.
   God saw that light was good
      and separated light from dark.
   God named the light Day,
      he named the dark Night.
   It was evening, it was morning—
   Day One.

 ^6-8 God spoke: "Sky! In the middle of the waters;
      separate water from water!"
   God made sky.
   He separated the water under sky
      from the water above sky.
   And there it was:
      he named sky the Heavens;
   It was evening, it was morning—
   Day Two.

 ^9-10 God spoke: "Separate!
      Water-beneath-Heaven, gather into one place;
   Land, appear!"
      And there it was.
   God named the land Earth.
      He named the pooled water Ocean.
   God saw that it was good.

 ^11-13 God spoke: "Earth, green up! Grow all varieties
      of seed-bearing plants,
   Every sort of fruit-bearing tree."
      And there it was.
   Earth produced green seed-bearing plants,
      all varieties,
   And fruit-bearing trees of all sorts.
      God saw that it was good.
   It was evening, it was morning—
   Day Three.

 ^14-15 God spoke: "Lights! Come out!
      Shine in Heaven's sky!
   Separate Day from Night.
      Mark seasons and days and years,
   Lights in Heaven's sky to give light to Earth."
      And there it was.

 ^16-19 God made two big lights, the larger
      to take charge of Day,
   The smaller to be in charge of Night;
      and he made the stars.
   God placed them in the heavenly sky
      to light up Earth
   And oversee Day and Night,
      to separate light and dark.
   God saw that it was good.
   It was evening, it was morning—
   Day Four.

 ^20-23 God spoke: "Swarm, Ocean, with fish and all sea life!
      Birds, fly through the sky over Earth!"
   God created the huge whales,
      all the swarm of life in the waters,
   And every kind and species of flying birds.
      God saw that it was good.
   God blessed them: "Prosper! Reproduce! Fill Ocean!
      Birds, reproduce on Earth!"
   It was evening, it was morning—
   Day Five.

 ^24-25 God spoke: "Earth, generate life! Every sort and kind:
      cattle and reptiles and wild animals—all kinds."
   And there it was:
      wild animals of every kind,
   Cattle of all kinds, every sort of reptile and bug.
      God saw that it was good.

 ^26-28 God spoke: "Let us make human beings in our image, make them
      reflecting our nature
   So they can be responsible for the fish in the sea,
      the birds in the air, the cattle,
   And, yes, Earth itself,
      and every animal that moves on the face of Earth."
   God created human beings;
      he created them godlike,
   Reflecting God's nature.
      He created them male and female.
   God blessed them:
      "Prosper! Reproduce! Fill Earth! Take charge!
   Be responsible for fish in the sea and birds in the air,
      for every living thing that moves on the face of Earth."

 ^29-30 Then God said, "I've given you
      every sort of seed-bearing plant on Earth
   And every kind of fruit-bearing tree,
      given them to you for food.
   To all animals and all birds,
      everything that moves and breathes,
   I give whatever grows out of the ground for food."
      And there it was.

 ³¹ God looked over everything he had made;
      it was so good, so very good!
   It was evening, it was morning—
   Day Six.

Genesis 2

    Heaven and Earth were finished, down to the last detail.

 ^2-4 By the seventh day
      God had finished his work.
   On the seventh day
      he rested from all his work.
   God blessed the seventh day.
      He made it a Holy Day
   Because on that day he rested from his work,
      all the creating God had done.

   This is the story of how it all started,
      of Heaven and Earth when they were created.

Adam and Eve

^5-7 At the time God made Earth and Heaven, before any grasses or shrubs had sprouted from the ground—God hadn't yet sent rain on Earth, nor was there anyone around to work the ground (the whole Earth was watered by underground springs)—God formed Man out of dirt from the ground and blew into his nostrils the breath of life. The Man came alive—a living soul!  ^8-9 Then God planted a garden in Eden, in the east. He put the Man he had just made in it. God made all kinds of trees grow from the ground, trees beautiful to look at and good to eat. The Tree-of-Life was in the middle of the garden, also the Tree-of-Knowledge-of-Good-and-Evil.
 ^10-14 A river flows out of Eden to water the garden and from there divides into four rivers. The first is named Pishon; it flows through Havilah where there is gold. The gold of this land is good. The land is also known for a sweet-scented resin and the onyx stone. The second river is named Gihon; it flows through the land of Cush. The third river is named Hiddekel and flows east of Assyria. The fourth river is the Euphrates.
 ¹⁵ God took the Man and set him down in the Garden of Eden to work the ground and keep it in order.
 ^16-17 God commanded the Man, "You can eat from any tree in the garden, except from the Tree-of-Knowledge-of-Good-and-Evil. Don't eat from it. The moment you eat from that tree, you're dead."
 ^18-20 God said, "It's not good for the Man to be alone; I'll make him a helper, a companion." So God formed from the dirt of the ground all the animals of the field and all the birds of the air. He brought them to the Man to see what he would name them. Whatever the Man called each living creature, that was its name. The Man named the cattle, named the birds of the air, named the wild animals; but he didn't find a suitable companion.
 ^21-22 God put the Man into a deep sleep. As he slept he removed one of his ribs and replaced it with flesh. God then used the rib that he had taken from the Man to make Woman and presented her to the Man.

    ^23-25 The Man said,
   "Finally! Bone of my bone,
      flesh of my flesh!
   Name her Woman
      for she was made from Man."
      Therefore a man leaves his father and mother and embraces his wife. They become one flesh.
      The two of them, the Man and his Wife, were naked, but they felt no shame.

Genesis 3

 ¹ The serpent was clever, more clever than any wild animal God had made. He spoke to the Woman: "Do I understand that God told you not to eat from any tree in the garden?"
 ^2-3 The Woman said to the serpent, "Not at all. We can eat from the trees in the garden. It's only about the tree in the middle of the garden that God said, 'Don't eat from it; don't even touch it or you'll die.'"
 ^4-5 The serpent told the Woman, "You won't die. God knows that the moment you eat from that tree, you'll see what's really going on. You'll be just like God, knowing everything, ranging all the way from good to evil."
 ⁶ When the Woman saw that the tree looked like good eating and realized what she would get out of it—she'd know everything!—she took and ate the fruit and then gave some to her husband, and he ate.
 ⁷ Immediately the two of them did "see what's really going on"—saw themselves naked! They sewed fig leaves together as makeshift clothes for themselves.
 ⁸ When they heard the sound of God strolling in the garden in the evening breeze, the Man and his Wife hid in the trees of the garden, hid from God.
 ⁹ God called to the Man: "Where are you?"
 ¹⁰ He said, "I heard you in the garden and I was afraid because I was naked. And I hid."
 ¹¹ God said, "Who told you you were naked? Did you eat from that tree I told you not to eat from?"
 ¹² The Man said, "The Woman you gave me as a companion, she gave me fruit from the tree, and, yes, I ate it."
   God said to the Woman, "What is this that you've done?"
 ¹³ "The serpent seduced me," she said, "and I ate."

    ^14-15 God told the serpent:
   "Because you've done this, you're cursed,
      cursed beyond all cattle and wild animals,
   Cursed to slink on your belly
      and eat dirt all your life.
   I'm declaring war between you and the Woman,
      between your offspring and hers.
   He'll wound your head,
      you'll wound his heel."

    ¹⁶ He told the Woman:
   "I'll multiply your pains in childbirth;
      you'll give birth to your babies in pain.
   You'll want to please your husband,
      but he'll lord it over you."

    ^17-19 He told the Man:
   "Because you listened to your wife
      and ate from the tree
   That I commanded you not to eat from,
      'Don't eat from this tree,'
   The very ground is cursed because of you;
      getting food from the ground
   Will be as painful as having babies is for your wife;
      you'll be working in pain all your life long.
   The ground will sprout thorns and weeds,
      you'll get your food the hard way,
   Planting and tilling and harvesting,
      sweating in the fields from dawn to dusk,
   Until you return to that ground yourself, dead and buried;
      you started out as dirt, you'll end up dirt."
 ²⁰ The Man, known as Adam, named his wife Eve because she was the mother of all the living.
 ²¹ God made leather clothing for Adam and his wife and dressed them.
 ²² God said, "The Man has become like one of us, capable of knowing everything, ranging from good to evil. What if he now should reach out and take fruit from the Tree-of-Life and eat, and live forever? Never—this cannot happen!"
 ^23-24 So God expelled them from the Garden of Eden and sent them to work the ground, the same dirt out of which they'd been made. He threw them out of the garden and stationed angel-cherubim and a revolving sword of fire east of it, guarding the path to the Tree-of-Life.

(from http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Genesis%201-3&version=MSG)

The Creation account is amazing. I have a degree in zoology, which entailed studying a lot of biology, chemistry, physics, and mathematics. The vastness of the universe is most evident here, but incredible detail in form and process is necessary for every last one of those organisms and planetary systems—right down to subatomic particles. And God first imagined and then spoke forth every last bit of that. He put into place everything that we human beings—the culmination of that creation and unique reflectors of His character and being—would need for living life to the fullest. And yet both Adam and Eve decided that God wasn't quite good enough, didn't quite love them enough, and/or wasn't quite powerful enough to have provided their every need. So they took matters into their own hands, thinking they knew just a little better than God did what they really needed.

They screwed up everything—and I mean everything. From that point on, men and women would be at war with each other in their marriages, bringing forth new life (even those lives conceived in love) would be incredibly physically painful, and work would be both physically and emotionally painful.

Chapter 3:11-13 intrigues me:
 ¹¹ God said, "Who told you you were naked? Did you eat from that tree I told you not to eat from?"
 ¹² The Man said, "The Woman you gave me as a companion, she gave me fruit from the tree, and, yes, I ate it."
   God said to the Woman, "What is this that you've done?"
 ¹³ "The serpent seduced me," she said, "and I ate."
When God confronted them, first Adam and then Eve 'fessed up, but only after blaming somebody else for their sinful behavior. I wonder if their apologies were truly repentant or if they offered them with their chins in the air, still defiant. Were they sorry they hadn't trusted God or were they, à la Scarlett O'Hara, merely sorry they'd been caught?

Regardless of the authenticity of their repentance, God replaced their pathetic fig leaf coverings with substantial clothing of animal skins: significantly, the first of many blood sacrifices to take away some of the consequences of the first instance of sin. I imagine that pained God, as did having to banish Adam and Eve from the perfect home He had created just for them. Banish them He did, but He never abandoned them. Never.

Kinda like this:

Genesis 19-21

Genesis 19

 ^1-2 The two angels arrived at Sodom in the evening. Lot was sitting at the city gate. He saw them and got up to welcome them, bowing before them and said, "Please, my friends, come to my house and stay the night. Wash up. You can rise early and be on your way refreshed."
   They said, "No, we'll sleep in the street."
 ³ But he insisted, wouldn't take no for an answer; and they relented and went home with him. Lot fixed a hot meal for them and they ate.
 ^4-5 Before they went to bed men from all over the city of Sodom, young and old, descended on the house from all sides and boxed them in. They yelled to Lot, "Where are the men who are staying with you for the night? Bring them out so we can have our sport with them!"
 ^6-8 Lot went out, barring the door behind him, and said, "Brothers, please, don't be vile! Look, I have two daughters, virgins; let me bring them out; you can take your pleasure with them, but don't touch these men—they're my guests."
 ⁹ They said, "Get lost! You drop in from nowhere and now you're going to tell us how to run our lives. We'll treat you worse than them!" And they charged past Lot to break down the door.
 ^10-11 But the two men reached out and pulled Lot inside the house, locking the door. Then they struck blind the men who were trying to break down the door, both leaders and followers, leaving them groping in the dark.
 ^12-13 The two men said to Lot, "Do you have any other family here? Sons, daughters—anybody in the city? Get them out of here, and now! We're going to destroy this place. The outcries of victims here to God are deafening; we've been sent to blast this place into oblivion."
 ¹⁴ Lot went out and warned the fiancés of his daughters, "Evacuate this place; God is about to destroy this city!" But his daughters' would-be husbands treated it as a joke.
 ¹⁵ At break of day, the angels pushed Lot to get going, "Hurry. Get your wife and two daughters out of here before it's too late and you're caught in the punishment of the city."
 ^16-17 Lot was dragging his feet. The men grabbed Lot's arm, and the arms of his wife and daughters—God was so merciful to them!—and dragged them to safety outside the city. When they had them outside, Lot was told, "Now run for your life! Don't look back! Don't stop anywhere on the plain—run for the hills or you'll be swept away."
 ^18-20 But Lot protested, "No, masters, you can't mean it! I know that you've taken a liking to me and have done me an immense favor in saving my life, but I can't run for the mountains—who knows what terrible thing might happen to me in the mountains and leave me for dead. Look over there—that town is close enough to get to. It's a small town, hardly anything to it. Let me escape there and save my life—it's a mere wide place in the road."
 ^21-22 "All right, Lot. If you insist. I'll let you have your way. And I won't stamp out the town you've spotted. But hurry up. Run for it! I can't do anything until you get there." That's why the town was called Zoar, that is, Smalltown.
 ²³ The sun was high in the sky when Lot arrived at Zoar.
 ^24-25 Then God rained brimstone and fire down on Sodom and Gomorrah— a river of lava from God out of the sky!—and destroyed these cities and the entire plain and everyone who lived in the cities and everything that grew from the ground.
 ²⁶ But Lot's wife looked back and turned into a pillar of salt.
 ^27-28 Abraham got up early the next morning and went to the place he had so recently stood with God. He looked out over Sodom and Gomorrah, surveying the whole plain. All he could see was smoke belching from the Earth, like smoke from a furnace.
 ²⁹ And that's the story: When God destroyed the Cities of the Plain, he was mindful of Abraham and first got Lot out of there before he blasted those cities off the face of the Earth.
 ³⁰ Lot left Zoar and went into the mountains to live with his two daughters; he was afraid to stay in Zoar. He lived in a cave with his daughters.
 ^31-32 One day the older daughter said to the younger, "Our father is getting old and there's not a man left in the country by whom we can get pregnant. Let's get our father drunk with wine and lie with him. We'll get children through our father—it's our only chance to keep our family alive."
 ^33-35 They got their father drunk with wine that very night. The older daughter went and lay with him. He was oblivious, knowing nothing of what she did. The next morning the older said to the younger, "Last night I slept with my father. Tonight, it's your turn. We'll get him drunk again and then you sleep with him. We'll both get a child through our father and keep our family alive." So that night they got their father drunk again and the younger went in and slept with him. Again he was oblivious, knowing nothing of what she did.
 ^36-38 Both daughters became pregnant by their father, Lot. The older daughter had a son and named him Moab, the ancestor of the present-day Moabites. The younger daughter had a son and named him Ben-Ammi, the ancestor of the present-day Ammonites.

Genesis 20

 ^1-2 Abraham traveled from there south to the Negev and settled down between Kadesh and Shur. While he was camping in Gerar, Abraham said of his wife Sarah, "She's my sister."  ^2-3 So Abimelech, king of Gerar, sent for Sarah and took her. But God came to Abimelech in a dream that night and told him, "You're as good as dead—that woman you took, she's a married woman."
 ^4-5 Now Abimelech had not yet slept with her, hadn't so much as touched her. He said, "Master, would you kill an innocent man? Didn't he tell me, 'She's my sister'? And didn't she herself say, 'He's my brother'? I had no idea I was doing anything wrong when I did this."
 ^6-7 God said to him in the dream, "Yes, I know your intentions were pure, that's why I kept you from sinning against me; I was the one who kept you from going to bed with her. So now give the man's wife back to him. He's a prophet and will pray for you—pray for your life. If you don't give her back, know that it's certain death both for you and everyone in your family."
 ^8-9 Abimelech was up first thing in the morning. He called all his house servants together and told them the whole story. They were shocked. Then Abimelech called in Abraham and said, "What have you done to us? What have I ever done to you that you would bring on me and my kingdom this huge offense? What you've done to me ought never to have been done."
 ¹⁰ Abimelech went on to Abraham, "Whatever were you thinking of when you did this thing?"
 ^11-13 Abraham said, "I just assumed that there was no fear of God in this place and that they'd kill me to get my wife. Besides, the truth is that she is my half sister; she's my father's daughter but not my mother's. When God sent me out as a wanderer from my father's home, I told her, 'Do me a favor; wherever we go, tell people that I'm your brother.'"
 ^14-15 Then Abimelech gave Sarah back to Abraham, and along with her sent sheep and cattle and servants, both male and female. He said, "My land is open to you; live wherever you wish."
 ¹⁶ And to Sarah he said, "I've given your brother a thousand pieces of silver—that clears you of even a shadow of suspicion before the eyes of the world. You're vindicated."
 ^17-18 Then Abraham prayed to God and God healed Abimelech, his wife and his maidservants, and they started having babies again. For God had shut down every womb in Abimelech's household on account of Sarah, Abraham's wife.

Genesis 21

 ^1-4God visited Sarah exactly as he said he would; God did to Sarah what he promised: Sarah became pregnant and gave Abraham a son in his old age, and at the very time God had set. Abraham named him Isaac. When his son was eight days old, Abraham circumcised him just as God had commanded.  ^5-6 Abraham was a hundred years old when his son Isaac was born.
   Sarah said,

      God has blessed me with laughter
      and all who get the news will laugh with me!
 ⁷ She also said,

      Whoever would have suggested to Abraham
      that Sarah would one day nurse a baby!
       Yet here I am! I've given the old man a son!
 ⁸ The baby grew and was weaned. Abraham threw a big party on the day Isaac was weaned.
 ^9-10 One day Sarah saw the son that Hagar the Egyptian had borne to Abraham, poking fun at her son Isaac. She told Abraham, "Get rid of this slave woman and her son. No child of this slave is going to share inheritance with my son Isaac!"
 ^11-13 The matter gave great pain to Abraham—after all, Ishmael was his son. But God spoke to Abraham, "Don't feel badly about the boy and your maid. Do whatever Sarah tells you. Your descendants will come through Isaac. Regarding your maid's son, be assured that I'll also develop a great nation from him—he's your son, too."
 ^14-16 Abraham got up early the next morning, got some food together and a canteen of water for Hagar, put them on her back and sent her away with the child. She wandered off into the desert of Beersheba. When the water was gone, she left the child under a shrub and went off, fifty yards or so. She said, "I can't watch my son die." As she sat, she broke into sobs.
 ^17-18 Meanwhile, God heard the boy crying. The angel of God called from Heaven to Hagar, "What's wrong, Hagar? Don't be afraid. God has heard the boy and knows the fix he's in. Up now; go get the boy. Hold him tight. I'm going to make of him a great nation."
 ¹⁹ Just then God opened her eyes. She looked. She saw a well of water. She went to it and filled her canteen and gave the boy a long, cool drink.
 ^20-21 God was on the boy's side as he grew up. He lived out in the desert and became a skilled archer. He lived in the Paran wilderness. And his mother got him a wife from Egypt.
 ^22-23 At about that same time, Abimelech and the captain of his troops, Phicol, spoke to Abraham: "No matter what you do, God is on your side. So swear to me that you won't do anything underhanded to me or any of my family. For as long as you live here, swear that you'll treat me and my land as well as I've treated you."
 ²⁴ Abraham said, "I swear it."
 ^25-26 At the same time, Abraham confronted Abimelech over the matter of a well of water that Abimelech's servants had taken. Abimelech said, "I have no idea who did this; you never told me about it; this is the first I've heard of it."
 ^27-28 So the two of them made a covenant. Abraham took sheep and cattle and gave them to Abimelech. Abraham set aside seven sheep from his flock.
 ²⁹ Abimelech said, "What does this mean? These seven sheep you've set aside."
 ³⁰ Abraham said, "It means that when you accept these seven sheep, you take it as proof that I dug this well, that it's my well."
 ^31-32 That's how the place got named Beersheba (the Oath-Well), because the two of them swore a covenant oath there. After they had made the covenant at Beersheba, Abimelech and his commander, Phicol, left and went back to Philistine territory.
 ^33-34 Abraham planted a tamarisk tree in Beersheba and worshiped God there, praying to the Eternal God. Abraham lived in Philistine country for a long time.

The Message

When I read through these words, I alternate between wanting to cry from discouragement and wanting to shout for joy, and I see myself mirrored in both circumstances.

Lot was a mess, a mixture of serving his own interests and being able to discern where his loyalties (if not his heart) ought to lie. And what was up with him offering his daughters to the perverts at his front door??? Even if he knew they would turn down the offer, what did hearing their father say such a thing do to those young women's hearts? I wonder, too, if that incident played a part in their subsequent decision to get their father drunk enough to impregnate them. I suspect that, at some level, them experiencing their earthly father protecting them so poorly led them to conclude that their heavenly Father would similarly ignore not only their needs, but also the deep desires of their hearts, and so they took it upon themselves to meet those desires.

I want to title chapter 20, "Here We Go Again," with an exasperated sigh attached. And yet God still makes good on His promise to gift Abraham and Sarah with a son in their very old age. What a contrast to the situation with Lot's daughters! Those girls and Sarah both longed to have children. Both they and Sarah concocted and carried out plans to get them what they wanted, with long-term disastrous consequences in both cases. And yet God continued to pursue His people's hearts, continued to reveal Himself to them, continued to lavish His love upon them, continued to fulfill their dreams in ways they could never have conceived.

So I wonder, how will He fulfill the dreams I hold dear, the very ones I suspect He has placed within me, the ones I have no hope of legitimately fulfilling in my own power? That is the adventure to which He invites me, I think. Do I trust Him enough to enter into it?

Genesis 16-18

Genesis 16

 ^1-2 Sarai, Abram's wife, hadn't yet produced a child. She had an Egyptian maid named Hagar. Sarai said to Abram, "God has not seen fit to let me have a child. Sleep with my maid. Maybe I can get a family from her." Abram agreed to do what Sarai said.  ^3-4 So Sarai, Abram's wife, took her Egyptian maid Hagar and gave her to her husband Abram as a wife. Abram had been living ten years in Canaan when this took place. He slept with Hagar and she got pregnant. When Hagar learned she was pregnant, she looked down on her mistress.
 ⁵ Sarai told Abram, "It's all your fault that I'm suffering this abuse. I put my maid in bed with you and the minute she knows she's pregnant, she treats me like I'm nothing. May God decide which of us is right."
 ⁶ "You decide," said Abram. "Your maid is your business."
   Sarai was abusive to Hagar and Hagar ran away.
 ^7-8 An angel of God found her beside a spring in the desert; it was the spring on the road to Shur. He said, "Hagar, maid of Sarai, what are you doing here?"
   She said, "I'm running away from Sarai my mistress."
 ^9-12 The angel of God said, "Go back to your mistress. Put up with her abuse." He continued, "I'm going to give you a big family, children past counting.

   From this pregnancy, you'll get a son: Name him Ishmael;
      for God heard you, God answered you.
   He'll be a bucking bronco of a man,
      a real fighter, fighting and being fought,
   Always stirring up trouble,
      always at odds with his family."
 ¹³ She answered God by name, praying to the God who spoke to her, "You're the God who sees me!
   "Yes! He saw me; and then I saw him!"
 ¹⁴ That's how that desert spring got named "God-Alive-Sees-Me Spring." That spring is still there, between Kadesh and Bered.
 ^15-16 Hagar gave Abram a son. Abram named him Ishmael. Abram was eighty-six years old when Hagar gave him his son, Ishmael.

Genesis 17

 ^1-2 When Abram was ninety-nine years old, God showed up and said to him, "I am The Strong God, live entirely before me, live to the hilt! I'll make a covenant between us and I'll give you a huge family."  ^3-8 Overwhelmed, Abram fell flat on his face.
   Then God said to him, "This is my covenant with you: You'll be the father of many nations. Your name will no longer be Abram, but Abraham, meaning that 'I'm making you the father of many nations.' I'll make you a father of fathers—I'll make nations from you, kings will issue from you. I'm establishing my covenant between me and you, a covenant that includes your descendants, a covenant that goes on and on and on, a covenant that commits me to be your God and the God of your descendants. And I'm giving you and your descendants this land where you're now just camping, this whole country of Canaan, to own forever. And I'll be their God."
 ^9-14 God continued to Abraham, "And you: You will honor my covenant, you and your descendants, generation after generation. This is the covenant that you are to honor, the covenant that pulls in all your descendants: Circumcise every male. Circumcise by cutting off the foreskin of the penis; it will be the sign of the covenant between us. Every male baby will be circumcised when he is eight days old, generation after generation—this includes house-born slaves and slaves bought from outsiders who are not blood kin. Make sure you circumcise both your own children and anyone brought in from the outside. That way my covenant will be cut into your body, a permanent mark of my permanent covenant. An uncircumcised male, one who has not had the foreskin of his penis cut off, will be cut off from his people—he has broken my covenant."
 ^15-16 God continued speaking to Abraham, "And Sarai your wife: Don't call her Sarai any longer; call her Sarah. I'll bless her—yes! I'll give you a son by her! Oh, how I'll bless her! Nations will come from her; kings of nations will come from her."
 ¹⁷ Abraham fell flat on his face. And then he laughed, thinking, "Can a hundred-year-old man father a son? And can Sarah, at ninety years, have a baby?"
 ¹⁸ Recovering, Abraham said to God, "Oh, keep Ishmael alive and well before you!"
 ¹⁹ But God said, "That's not what I mean. Your wife, Sarah, will have a baby, a son. Name him Isaac (Laughter). I'll establish my covenant with him and his descendants, a covenant that lasts forever.
 ^20-21 "And Ishmael? Yes, I heard your prayer for him. I'll also bless him; I'll make sure he has plenty of children—a huge family. He'll father twelve princes; I'll make him a great nation. But I'll establish my covenant with Isaac whom Sarah will give you about this time next year."
 ²² God finished speaking with Abraham and left.
 ²³ Then Abraham took his son Ishmael and all his servants, whether houseborn or purchased—every male in his household—and circumcised them, cutting off their foreskins that very day, just as God had told him.
 ^24-27 Abraham was ninety-nine years old when he was circumcised. His son Ishmael was thirteen years old when he was circumcised. Abraham and Ishmael were circumcised the same day together with all the servants of his household, those born there and those purchased from outsiders—all were circumcised with him.

Genesis 18

 ^1-2 God appeared to Abraham at the Oaks of Mamre while he was sitting at the entrance of his tent. It was the hottest part of the day. He looked up and saw three men standing. He ran from his tent to greet them and bowed before them.  ^3-5 He said, "Master, if it please you, stop for a while with your servant. I'll get some water so you can wash your feet. Rest under this tree. I'll get some food to refresh you on your way, since your travels have brought you across my path."
   They said, "Certainly. Go ahead."
 ⁶ Abraham hurried into the tent to Sarah. He said, "Hurry. Get three cups of our best flour; knead it and make bread."
 ^7-8 Then Abraham ran to the cattle pen and picked out a nice plump calf and gave it to the servant who lost no time getting it ready. Then he got curds and milk, brought them with the calf that had been roasted, set the meal before the men, and stood there under the tree while they ate.
 ⁹ The men said to him, "Where is Sarah your wife?"
   He said, "In the tent."
 ¹⁰ One of them said, "I'm coming back about this time next year. When I arrive, your wife Sarah will have a son." Sarah was listening at the tent opening, just behind the man.
 ^11-12 Abraham and Sarah were old by this time, very old. Sarah was far past the age for having babies. Sarah laughed within herself, "An old woman like me? Get pregnant? With this old man of a husband?"
 ^13-14 God said to Abraham, "Why did Sarah laugh saying, 'Me? Have a baby? An old woman like me?' Is anything too hard for God? I'll be back about this time next year and Sarah will have a baby."
 ¹⁵ Sarah lied. She said, "I didn't laugh," because she was afraid.
   But he said, "Yes you did; you laughed."

¹⁶ When the men got up to leave, they set off for Sodom. Abraham walked with them to say good-bye.
 ^17-19 Then God said, "Shall I keep back from Abraham what I'm about to do? Abraham is going to become a large and strong nation; all the nations of the world are going to find themselves blessed through him. Yes, I've settled on him as the one to train his children and future family to observe God's way of life, live kindly and generously and fairly, so that God can complete in Abraham what he promised him."
 ^20-21 God continued, "The cries of the victims in Sodom and Gomorrah are deafening; the sin of those cities is immense. I'm going down to see for myself, see if what they're doing is as bad as it sounds. Then I'll know."
 ²² The men set out for Sodom, but Abraham stood in God's path, blocking his way.
 ^23-25 Abraham confronted him, "Are you serious? Are you planning on getting rid of the good people right along with the bad? What if there are fifty decent people left in the city; will you lump the good with the bad and get rid of the lot? Wouldn't you spare the city for the sake of those fifty innocents? I can't believe you'd do that, kill off the good and the bad alike as if there were no difference between them. Doesn't the Judge of all the Earth judge with justice?"
 ²⁶ God said, "If I find fifty decent people in the city of Sodom, I'll spare the place just for them."
 ^27-28 Abraham came back, "Do I, a mere mortal made from a handful of dirt, dare open my mouth again to my Master? What if the fifty fall short by five—would you destroy the city because of those missing five?"
   He said, "I won't destroy it if there are forty-five."
 ²⁹ Abraham spoke up again, "What if you only find forty?"
   "Neither will I destroy it if for forty."
 ³⁰ He said, "Master, don't be irritated with me, but what if only thirty are found?"
   "No, I won't do it if I find thirty."
 ³¹ He pushed on, "I know I'm trying your patience, Master, but how about for twenty?"
   "I won't destroy it for twenty."
 ³² He wouldn't quit, "Don't get angry, Master—this is the last time. What if you only come up with ten?"
   "For the sake of only ten, I won't destroy the city."
 ³³ When God finished talking with Abraham, he left. And Abraham went home.

The Message

So, Hagar. Her name means "stranger." I assume she had no choice in the matter of Abram getting her pregnant, in Sarai using her in a scheme to "help" God out with accomplishing what what He'd promised Abram. But God heard her (Ishmael means "God hears") and He saw her. The Living God paid attention to her to the point of speaking the words she needed to hear, the words that would enable her to keep going, that blessed her, that caused her to worship.

Why, instead of telling her to return to Sarai and endure her abuse, didn't God provide another, an easier way for Hagar? Why didn't He thwart Sarai's self-serving plan in the first place? Why doesn't He prevent any of us from enduring our own abuses, from receiving our own wounds of the heart? My head tells me that it's likely so He can bind up–and ultimately heal–those wounds. But my heart isn't reconciled with that yet. In fact, it flat-out resents God using pain to bring me to the point of surrendering to Him.

So, as much as I want to claim otherwise, I haven't yet allowed Him access to all the nooks and crannies of my heart. I haven't reached the point of being able to worship Him with abandon.

He still has much work to do in me. I still need to surrender much to Him, to trust Him to do that work, to heal my wounds.

Genesis 12-15: Trusting God for the Change I Need

Genesis 12

Abram and Sarai

 ¹ God told Abram: "Leave your country, your family, and your father's home for a land that I will show you.

 ^2-3 I'll make you a great nation
      and bless you.
   I'll make you famous;
      you'll be a blessing.
   I'll bless those who bless you;
      those who curse you I'll curse.
   All the families of the Earth
      will be blessed through you."  ^4-6 So Abram left just as God said, and Lot left with him. Abram was seventy-five years old when he left Haran. Abram took his wife Sarai and his nephew Lot with him, along with all the possessions and people they had gotten in Haran, and set out for the land of Canaan and arrived safe and sound.
    Abram passed through the country as far as Shechem and the Oak of Moreh. At that time the Canaanites occupied the land.
 ⁷ God appeared to Abram and said, "I will give this land to your children." Abram built an altar at the place God had appeared to him.
 ⁸ He moved on from there to the hill country east of Bethel and pitched his tent between Bethel to the west and Ai to the east. He built an altar there and prayed to God.
 ⁹ Abram kept moving, steadily making his way south, to the Negev.
 ^10-13 Then a famine came to the land. Abram went down to Egypt to live; it was a hard famine. As he drew near to Egypt, he said to his wife, Sarai, "Look. We both know that you're a beautiful woman. When the Egyptians see you they're going to say, 'Aha! That's his wife!' and kill me. But they'll let you live. Do me a favor: tell them you're my sister. Because of you, they'll welcome me and let me live."
 ^14-15 When Abram arrived in Egypt, the Egyptians took one look and saw that his wife was stunningly beautiful. Pharaoh's princes raved over her to Pharaoh. She was taken to live with Pharaoh.
 ^16-17 Because of her, Abram got along very well: he accumulated sheep and cattle, male and female donkeys, men and women servants, and camels. But God hit Pharaoh hard because of Abram's wife Sarai; everybody in the palace got seriously sick.
 ^18-19 Pharaoh called for Abram, "What's this that you've done to me? Why didn't you tell me that she's your wife? Why did you say, 'She's my sister' so that I'd take her as my wife? Here's your wife back—take her and get out!"
 ²⁰ Pharaoh ordered his men to get Abram out of the country. They sent him and his wife and everything he owned on their way.

Genesis 13

 ^1-2 So Abram left Egypt and went back to the Negev, he and his wife and everything he owned, and Lot still with him. By now Abram was very rich, loaded with cattle and silver and gold.  ^3-4 He moved on from the Negev, camping along the way, to Bethel, the place he had first set up his tent between Bethel and Ai and built his first altar. Abram prayed there to God.
 ^5-7 Lot, who was traveling with Abram, was also rich in sheep and cattle and tents. But the land couldn't support both of them; they had too many possessions. They couldn't both live there—quarrels broke out between Abram's shepherds and Lot's shepherds. The Canaanites and Perizzites were also living on the land at the time.
 ^8-9 Abram said to Lot, "Let's not have fighting between us, between your shepherds and my shepherds. After all, we're family. Look around. Isn't there plenty of land out there? Let's separate. If you go left, I'll go right; if you go right, I'll go left."
 ^10-11 Lot looked. He saw the whole plain of the Jordan spread out, well watered (this was before God destroyed Sodom and Gomorrah), like God's garden, like Egypt, and stretching all the way to Zoar. Lot took the whole plain of the Jordan. Lot set out to the east.
 ^11-12 That's how they came to part company, uncle and nephew. Abram settled in Canaan; Lot settled in the cities of the plain and pitched his tent near Sodom.
 ¹³ The people of Sodom were evil—flagrant sinners against God.
 ^14-17 After Lot separated from him, God said to Abram, "Open your eyes, look around. Look north, south, east, and west. Everything you see, the whole land spread out before you, I will give to you and your children forever. I'll make your descendants like dust—counting your descendants will be as impossible as counting the dust of the Earth. So—on your feet, get moving! Walk through the country, its length and breadth; I'm giving it all to you."
 ¹⁸ Abram moved his tent. He went and settled by the Oaks of Mamre in Hebron. There he built an altar to God.

Genesis 14

 ^1-2 Then this: Amraphel king of Shinar, Arioch king of Ellasar, Kedorlaomer king of Elam, and Tidal king of Goiim went off to war to fight Bera king of Sodom, Birsha king of Gomorrah, Shinab king of Admah, Shemeber king of Zeboiim, and the king of Bela, that is, Zoar.  ^3-4 This second group of kings, the attacked, came together at the Valley of Siddim, that is, the Salt Sea. They had been under the thumb of Kedorlaomer for twelve years. In the thirteenth year, they revolted.
 ^5-7 In the fourteenth year, Kedorlaomer and the kings allied with him set out and defeated the Rephaim in Ashteroth Karnaim, the Zuzim in Ham, the Emim in Shaveh Kiriathaim, and the Horites in their hill country of Seir as far as El Paran on the far edge of the desert. On their way back they stopped at En Mishpat, that is, Kadesh, and conquered the whole region of the Amalekites as well as that of the Amorites who lived in Hazazon Tamar.
 ^8-9 That's when the king of Sodom marched out with the king of Gomorrah, the king of Admah, the king of Zeboiim, and the king of Bela, that is, Zoar. They drew up in battle formation against their enemies in the Valley of Siddim—against Kedorlaomer king of Elam, Tidal king of Goiim, Amraphel king of Shinar, and Arioch king of Ellasar, four kings against five.
 ^10-12 The Valley of Siddim was full of tar pits. When the kings of Sodom and Gomorrah fled, they fell into the tar pits, but the rest escaped into the mountains. The four kings captured all the possessions of Sodom and Gomorrah, all their food and equipment, and went on their way. They captured Lot, Abram's nephew who was living in Sodom at the time, taking everything he owned with them.
 ^13-16 A fugitive came and reported to Abram the Hebrew. Abram was living at the Oaks of Mamre the Amorite, brother of Eshcol and Aner. They were allies of Abram. When Abram heard that his nephew had been taken prisoner, he lined up his servants, all of them born in his household—there were 318 of them—and chased after the captors all the way to Dan. Abram and his men split into small groups and attacked by night. They chased them as far as Hobah, just north of Damascus. They recovered all the plunder along with nephew Lot and his possessions, including the women and the people.
 ^17-20 After Abram returned from defeating Kedorlaomer and his allied kings, the king of Sodom came out to greet him in the Valley of Shaveh, the King's Valley. Melchizedek, king of Salem, brought out bread and wine—he was priest of The High God—and blessed him:

   Blessed be Abram by The High God,
      Creator of Heaven and Earth.
   And blessed be The High God,
      who handed your enemies over to you.
   Abram gave him a tenth of all the recovered plunder.
 ²¹ The king of Sodom said to Abram, "Give me back the people but keep all the plunder for yourself."
 ^22-24 But Abram told the king of Sodom, "I swear to God, The High God, Creator of Heaven and Earth, this solemn oath, that I'll take nothing from you, not so much as a thread or a shoestring. I'm not going to have you go around saying, 'I made Abram rich.' Nothing for me other than what the young men ate and the share of the men who went with me, Aner, Eshcol, and Mamre; they're to get their share of the plunder."

Genesis 15

 ¹ After all these things, this word of God came to Abram in a vision: "Don't be afraid, Abram. I'm your shield. Your reward will be grand!"  ^2-3 Abram said, "God, Master, what use are your gifts as long as I'm childless and Eliezer of Damascus is going to inherit everything?" Abram continued, "See, you've given me no children, and now a mere house servant is going to get it all."
 ⁴ Then God's Message came: "Don't worry, he won't be your heir; a son from your body will be your heir."
 ⁵ Then he took him outside and said, "Look at the sky. Count the stars. Can you do it? Count your descendants! You're going to have a big family, Abram!"
 ⁶ And he believed! Believed God! God declared him "Set-Right-with-God."
 ⁷ God continued, "I'm the same God who brought you from Ur of the Chaldees and gave you this land to own."
 ⁸ Abram said, "Master God, how am I to know this, that it will all be mine?"
 ⁹ God said, "Bring me a heifer, a goat, and a ram, each three years old, and a dove and a young pigeon."
 ^10-12 He brought all these animals to him, split them down the middle, and laid the halves opposite each other. But he didn't split the birds. Vultures swooped down on the carcasses, but Abram scared them off. As the sun went down a deep sleep overcame Abram and then a sense of dread, dark and heavy.
 ^13-16 God said to Abram, "Know this: your descendants will live as outsiders in a land not theirs; they'll be enslaved and beaten down for 400 years. Then I'll punish their slave masters; your offspring will march out of there loaded with plunder. But not you; you'll have a long and full life and die a good and peaceful death. Not until the fourth generation will your descendants return here; sin is still a thriving business among the Amorites."
 ^17-21 When the sun was down and it was dark, a smoking firepot and a flaming torch moved between the split carcasses. That's when God made a covenant with Abram: "I'm giving this land to your children, from the Nile River in Egypt to the River Euphrates in Assyria—the country of the Kenites, Kenizzites, Kadmonites, Hittites, Perizzites, Rephaim, Amorites, Canaanites, Girgashites, and Jebusites."

The Message

It resonates deeply with me that throughout this passage God is inviting Abram to trust Him over and over: first in leaving the only home he had ever known (chapter 12), then in believing that God would give him the heir he so deeply desired (15:4), and finally in believing he would have descendants beyond counting (15:5).

I can easily substitute my name and circumstances into the first few verses of chapter 15.  It would read like this:

¹ This word of God came to Cathy while she was meditating on Scripture: "Don't be afraid, Cathy. I'm your shield. Your reward will be grand!"  ^2-3 Cathy said, "God, Master, what use are your gifts as long as I have this significant wound to my heart that most of my family won't acknowledge, resulting in them not wanting to be in relationship with me?" Cathy continued, "See, this is so painful that I do everything I can to avoid feeling the pain, even to the point of missing out on big chunks of life and living more like an adolescent than an adult." ⁴ Then God's Message came: "Don't worry, they don't have to validate your pain. Instead I'll heal that wound and allow you to flourish."

So the question is, when will I believe that He's really good enough to want to heal that wound for me? It scares the snot out of me to let go of that woundedness because, as twisted as it sounds (and is!), I've derived much of my identity from it. But that also means I've allowed the Enemy to use it against me. It's time for that to end.

God, give me one opportunity tomorrow to trust You for a bit of change. I need to have a place to build a figurative altar I can revisit to remind me of Your faithfulness and give me the courage to take the next step towards the transformation I know You want to accomplish in my life.  

Job 40-42

Job 40

   God then confronted Job directly: "Now what do you have to say for yourself?
   Are you going to haul me, the Mighty One, into court and press charges?"

Job Answers God

I'm Ready to Shut Up and Listen

 ^3-5 Job answered:
"I'm speechless, in awe—words fail me.
   I should never have opened my mouth!
I've talked too much, way too much.
   I'm ready to shut up and listen."

God's Second Set of Questions

I Want Straight Answers

 ^6-7 God addressed Job next from the eye of the storm, and this is what he said:

"I have some more questions for you,
   and I want straight answers.

 ^8-14 "Do you presume to tell me what I'm doing wrong?
   Are you calling me a sinner so you can be a saint?
Do you have an arm like my arm?
   Can you shout in thunder the way I can?
Go ahead, show your stuff.
   Let's see what you're made of, what you can do.
Unleash your outrage.
   Target the arrogant and lay them flat.
Target the arrogant and bring them to their knees.
   Stop the wicked in their tracks—make mincemeat of them!
Dig a mass grave and dump them in it—
   faceless corpses in an unmarked grave.
I'll gladly step aside and hand things over to you—
   you can surely save yourself with no help from me!

 ^15-24 "Look at the land beast, Behemoth. I created him as well as you.
   Grazing on grass, docile as a cow—
Just look at the strength of his back,
   the powerful muscles of his belly.
His tail sways like a cedar in the wind;
   his huge legs are like beech trees.
His skeleton is made of steel,
   every bone in his body hard as steel.
Most magnificent of all my creatures,
   but I still lead him around like a lamb!
The grass-covered hills serve him meals,
   while field mice frolic in his shadow.
He takes afternoon naps under shade trees,
   cools himself in the reedy swamps,
Lazily cool in the leafy shadows
   as the breeze moves through the willows.
And when the river rages he doesn't budge,
   stolid and unperturbed even when the Jordan goes wild.
But you'd never want him for a pet—
   you'd never be able to housebreak him!"

Job 41

I Run This Universe

 ^1-11"Or can you pull in the sea beast, Leviathan, with a fly rod and stuff him in your creel?
Can you lasso him with a rope,
   or snag him with an anchor?
Will he beg you over and over for mercy,
   or flatter you with flowery speech?
Will he apply for a job with you
   to run errands and serve you the rest of your life?
Will you play with him as if he were a pet goldfish?
   Will you make him the mascot of the neighborhood children?
Will you put him on display in the market
   and have shoppers haggle over the price?
Could you shoot him full of arrows like a pin cushion,
   or drive harpoons into his huge head?
If you so much as lay a hand on him,
   you won't live to tell the story.
What hope would you have with such a creature?
   Why, one look at him would do you in!
If you can't hold your own against his glowering visage,
   how, then, do you expect to stand up to me?
Who could confront me and get by with it?
   I'm in charge of all this—I run this universe!

 ^12-17 "But I've more to say about Leviathan, the sea beast,
   his enormous bulk, his beautiful shape.
Who would even dream of piercing that tough skin
   or putting those jaws into bit and bridle?
And who would dare knock at the door of his mouth
   filled with row upon row of fierce teeth?
His pride is invincible;
   nothing can make a dent in that pride.
Nothing can get through that proud skin—
   impervious to weapons and weather,
The thickest and toughest of hides,
   impenetrable!

 ^18-34 "He snorts and the world lights up with fire,
   he blinks and the dawn breaks.
Comets pour out of his mouth,
   fireworks arc and branch.
Smoke erupts from his nostrils
   like steam from a boiling pot.
He blows and fires blaze;
   flames of fire stream from his mouth.
All muscle he is—sheer and seamless muscle.
   To meet him is to dance with death.
Sinewy and lithe,
   there's not a soft spot in his entire body—
As tough inside as out,
   rock-hard, invulnerable.
Even angels run for cover when he surfaces,
   cowering before his tail-thrashing turbulence.
Javelins bounce harmlessly off his hide,
   harpoons ricochet wildly.
Iron bars are so much straw to him,
   bronze weapons beneath notice.
Arrows don't even make him blink;
   bullets make no more impression than raindrops.
A battle ax is nothing but a splinter of kindling;
   he treats a brandished harpoon as a joke.
His belly is armor-plated, inexorable—
   unstoppable as a barge.
He roils deep ocean the way you'd boil water,
   he whips the sea like you'd whip an egg into batter.
With a luminous trail stretching out behind him,
   you might think Ocean had grown a gray beard!
There's nothing on this earth quite like him,
   not an ounce of fear in that creature!
He surveys all the high and mighty—
   king of the ocean, king of the deep!"

Job 42

Job Worships God

I Babbled On About Things Far Beyond Me

 ^1-6 Job answered God: "I'm convinced: You can do anything and everything.
   Nothing and no one can upset your plans.
You asked, 'Who is this muddying the water,
   ignorantly confusing the issue, second-guessing my purposes?'
I admit it. I was the one. I babbled on about things far beyond me,
   made small talk about wonders way over my head.
You told me, 'Listen, and let me do the talking.
   Let me ask the questions. You give the answers.'
I admit I once lived by rumors of you;
   now I have it all firsthand—from my own eyes and ears!
I'm sorry—forgive me. I'll never do that again, I promise!
   I'll never again live on crusts of hearsay, crumbs of rumor."

God Restores Job

I Will Accept His Prayer

 ^7-8 After God had finished addressing Job, he turned to Eliphaz the Temanite and said, "I've had it with you and your two friends. I'm fed up! You haven't been honest either with me or about me—not the way my friend Job has. So here's what you must do. Take seven bulls and seven rams, and go to my friend Job. Sacrifice a burnt offering on your own behalf. My friend Job will pray for you, and I will accept his prayer. He will ask me not to treat you as you deserve for talking nonsense about me, and for not being honest with me, as he has."  ⁹ They did it. Eliphaz the Temanite, Bildad the Shuhite, and Zophar the Naamathite did what God commanded. And God accepted Job's prayer.
 ^10-11 After Job had interceded for his friends, God restored his fortune—and then doubled it! All his brothers and sisters and friends came to his house and celebrated. They told him how sorry they were, and consoled him for all the trouble God had brought him. Each of them brought generous housewarming gifts.
 ^12-15 God blessed Job's later life even more than his earlier life. He ended up with fourteen thousand sheep, six thousand camels, one thousand teams of oxen, and one thousand donkeys. He also had seven sons and three daughters. He named the first daughter Dove, the second, Cinnamon, and the third, Darkeyes. There was not a woman in that country as beautiful as Job's daughters. Their father treated them as equals with their brothers, providing the same inheritance.
 ^16-17 Job lived on another 140 years, living to see his children and grandchildren—four generations of them! Then he died—an old man, a full life.

 Job 40-42, The Message

I've been a Christian for just a hair over 37 years now (March 3, 1974), and I'm not so sure I don't live by rumors of God, as Job says in 42:5. Oh, I don't for a nanosecond doubt that I belong to Jesus and that I'll spend eternity with Him, but I don't have the intimate knowledge of Him that I thirst for…at least, when I allow myself to feel that thirst. I have to make myself read the Bible most of the time, and it takes a fair amount of effort to spend time praying, meditating on Scripture, and listening to God. I have this notion that if I allowed Him more access to my heart, I likely wouldn't have to fight so against myself to spend time with Him, that I'd just enjoy Him more.

My therapist (actually, I think of her more as a spiritual director) tells me that I should be prepared, though, because Jesus will almost certainly shake up my life and upend what I know to be true and right if I do allow Him unfettered access to my heart. (Will I still know those same truths when I come out on the other side of this process? Hmm…) Her case in point is the last few verses of this book. Job (or whomever wrote this account) recorded the names of his three daughters born after God restored his fortunes, but not his sons'. He gave those daughters inheritances equal to their brothers'. According women such status at that time would have been unheard of. If Eliphaz, Bildad, and Zophar were scandalized at Job's behavior during the time God allowed Satan to mess with him, can you imagine what they thought when Job utterly shattered the paradigm of how men treat women? Yikes! Talk about having one's world turned upside down!

Part of me wonders, "Uh-oh; what am I asking for, here?" But there's another part of me (a very good one, I think) that giggles at the prospect of God using me to disrupt the people in my life to the end of Him gaining more entrance into their hearts and lives. Now if I can just figure out how to minimize my own discomfort at Him doing the same to me… I'm kidding!!! Well, sort of… As my therapist would say, "How human of me!"